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Hello, screenwriters. As you recall, my sole purpose in doing these posts is to provide information you wouldn’t normally hear in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting workshop or screenwriting class. This certainly fits that bill.

I used to think that either you had a great ear for dialogue or you didn’t – it wasn’t something you could learn. But now I know that’s not true. You can learn how to structure your films effectively, you can also learn how to write better dialogue. The idea of talent is overblown. Everything can be learned if someone is ready to work hard enough to sharpen their skills.

Let’s study a scene from “The Social Network” by Aaron Sorkin — between the two brothers, Cameron and Tyler and their best friend, Divya. The two brothers and Divya first presented an idea to Mark Zuckerberg which was eerily similar to Facebook. Clearly, Mark took that idea and changed it into what Facebook became. Is this stealing? Well, that’s up to the audience to decide. Here we go…

DIVYA This is a good guy?

CAMERON We don’t know that he’s not a good guy.

DIVYA We that he took our idea and stole it. We know that he lied to our faces for a month and a half while he –

CAMERON He didn’t lie to our faces.

DIVYA He never saw our faces! Fine, he lied to our e-mail accounts and he got himself a 42-day head start because he knows what apparently you don’t which is that getting there first is everything!

CAMERON I’m a competitive racer, Div, I don’t think you need to school me on the importance of getting there first.

DIVYA (beat) Alright. He’s telling us to go fuck ourselves. We know plenty of people on the Crimson. While we’re waiting for dad’s lawyer to look this over, we can at least –

CAMERON No.

TYLER –get something going in the paper so that people know—

CAMERON What? TYLER That this thing is in dispute.

CAMERON We’re not starting a knife fight in the Crimson and we’re not suing anybody.

DIVYA Why not?

Cameron wants to answer that question but doesn’t…

DIVYA Why not?

CAMERON (beat – referring to Tyler) He’ll say it’s stupid.

TYLER Me?

CAMERON Yeah.

DIVYA Say it. Why not?

CAMERON Because we’re gentlemen of Harvard. (beat) This is Harvard. You don’t plant stories and you don’t sue people. (beat) That’s why. There’s a right way to do things.

DIVYA (pause) You thought he was going to be the only one who thought that was stupid?

Okay, a really awesome scene. What makes it play so well, apart from the great repartee, is that this is the opposite viewpoint of what Mark believes. Mark feels it’s alright to take one concept and morph it into another and then give no credit to the people that inspired him.

Did he steal this idea – well, yeah, pretty much. In real life, he ended up settling with Cameron, Tyler and Divya for 65 million dollars. It’s always good in a movie to present the opposite side of the argument or theme that is being represented.

For Mark, anything goes as long as he gets to accomplish his dream. He makes some unethical choices along the way which gets him into legal trouble, and he ends losing his best friend. But each choice strangely enough is the right choice for making Facebook what it is today. So dishonesty in a way works for him, because it helps him to accomplish his goal. He suffers as a result by being all alone at the end of the film.

The opposite point of view is represented here by Cameron. No, it’s not okay to cheat and he has a real code of honor. He states it plainly – We’re Gentlemen of Harvard. We don’t plant stories and we don’t sue people. Cameron and his brother come from an upper class world of gentlemen who don’t believe that the end justifies the means. Mark’s viewpoint can justify anything as long as his world changing idea becomes a reality. This is really a brilliant way to show the polar opposites.

Always show different points of view in your script. Because then your central theme will be as rich as possible. We’ll start on some new material next week.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. As you’re well aware, I do these posts because I want to contribute information you wouldn’t normally get in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting workshop or screenwriting class. This certainly fits that bill.

We looked at a scene recently where Mark Zuckerberg faced down the Administrative Board at Harvard after devising a website that shut down the computer system. In that scene, Mark’s arrogance clearly was covering up some sense of insecurity he carries around – that he’s not as good as the waspy prep school kids that get into all the final clubs – something he desperately wants to be a part of.

This is one important point on Mark’s diamond. For those of you who haven’t heard about a character diamond (a device created by David Freeman in his Beyond Structure class) – it is a four or five pointed star that exhibits important characteristics of the protagonist.

One important point of Mark’s diamond is that he’s arrogant, which is a cover for his underlying insecurity – that he’s not good looking enough, that he’s Jewish in a very waspy school and that he’s a nerd and lacks social skills. Ideally, every aspect of a character’s dialogue should reflect one or more points of his diamond.

Here is a very different kind of scene where another aspect of Mark’s diamond is revealed. It’s his undeniable brilliance and the pure joy he gets when he makes a discovery. In this scene, Mark will discover the final key to making Facebook the huge success that it will eventually become…

INT. COMPUTER SCIENCE LAB – DAY MARK is working at a station. We can see through the windows that it’s a frigid, snowy February day in Cambridge but MARK’s in his hoodie and cargo shorts nonetheless. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days. On his monitor we can see that he’s working on the profile page for the Facebook.

DUSTIN MOSKOWITZ steps up to him quietly.

DUSTIN Mark? (pause) Mark.

MARK turns his head and looks at him…

DUSTIN (quietly) There’s a girl in the art history class that you take. Her name is Stephanie Attis. Do you happen to know if she has a boyfriend?

MARK just keeps looking at him – barely even blinking. “Why am I being interrupted?”

DUSTIN (beat) I mean, have you ever seen her with anyone? (beat) And if not, do you happen to know if she’s looking to go out with anyone?

MARK (pause) Dustin. People don’t walk around with a sign on them that says –

And MARK stops short right there. Because in his head, he’s just discovered the cure for cancer.

DUSTIN (pause) Mark?

EXT. COMPUTER SCIENCE BUILDING – DAY As MARK, with his backpack stuffed, comes flying out of the building and into the snow, barely keeping his balance on the ice and we CUT TO:

INT. KIRKLAND HOUSE/LOBBY – MORNING The heavy doors burst open and MARK comes bursting through. He makes his way with speed and intent up a flight of stairs. Then another. And then another until he gets to his floor. He sprints down his hall toward his dorm room and barely notices Eduardo leaning against the door.

EDUARADO We were supposed to meet at 9.

MARK is searching the pockets of his shorts for his keys.

EDUARADO Have you slept yet?

MARK opens the door and they go into his suite—

MARK I have to add a feature.

EDUARDO What are you adding?

MARK’S in his own world as he sits at the computer and calls up theFacebook. The home page fills the screen.

EDUARDO (simply) Shit. (beat) That looks good. (beat) That looks really good.

MARK It’s clean and simple. No flashing lights.

The CAMERA surveys the screen as MARK slips through some functions to show EDUARDO and we see things that are now familiar—A photo, sex, a profile, a list of attributes, a poke application, etc.

MARK But watch.

MARK’s called up the Emacs program and quickly writes out several lines of code…

EDUARDO What’d you write?

MARK goes back to the profile page. There’s a new area to be filled in…

MARK “Relationship Status”, “Interested In”. (beat) These two things are what drive life at college. Are you having sex or aren’t you? It’s why people take certain classes, sit where they sit, go where they go, do what they do, and it’s, um, center, you know that’s what theFacebook is gonna be about. People are gonna log on because after all the cake and watermelon there’s a chance they’re gonna—

EDUARDO — meet a girl. MARK — get laid. Yes.

EDUARDO Really?

MARK (beat) And that’s it.

EDUARDO (beat) What do you mean?

MARK It’s ready.

EDUARDO It’s ready?

MARK Yeah.

EDUARDO Right now?

MARK It’s ready, that was it. And here’s the masthead.

MARK hits another couple of keystrokes and the website’s masthead comes up.

MARK (done) Okay.

He hits “Send.”

MARK The site’s live.

EDUARDO (pause) You know what? Let’s go get a drink and celebrate.

MARK is staring at the computer…

EDUARDO Mark?

MARK doesn’t hear him. We just see MARK’s head from the back and it’s ever so slightly bobbing back and forth.

EDUARDO (pause) Mark? (beat) Are you praying?

Very nice, isn’t it? This takes true talent to make something that is inherently not very interesting or visual – putting up a website – into a huge event. This is the Mark that is truly inspired, who sees a chess game 10 moves ahead of everyone else, who loves to create and has a vision. That’s also a part of his diamond and it’s what allows Mark to become a hero of sorts.

Somehow in Mark’s head, he sees Facebook become the world changing event before it ever becomes a reality in the real world. He somehow knows this is it. This will make a difference. Facebook has become much more than finding a way to get laid, it’s become an intricate part of the way people communicate and organize, a way for people to connect and change the way they live – because when everyone is connected, dictators have a much harder time oppressing its citizenry. So it is a very big deal. We’ll continue on with writing great scenes next week.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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As you’re all well aware, I offer this blog to contribute information you wouldn’t normally receive in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting workshop or screenwriting class. This following post certainly fits that bill.

Let’s celebrate the brilliance of some of the best screenwriters working today, i.e. Aaron Sorkin who wrote “The Social Network.”

The following is an example. Mark Zuckerberg is brought before the Administrative Board of Harvard for creating FaceMash, where he downloads the faces of all the girls at his school, two at a time, so the Harvard men can vote on who is hotter. This website becomes so popular over one night that it crashes the Harvard computer system. Here we go…

INT. ADMINISTRATIVE HEARING ROOM – DAY

MARK stands before a panel of ADMINISTRATORS as well as COX, the systems manager who was woken up in the opening sequence.

ADMINISTRATOR Mr. Zuckerberg, this is an administrative board hearing. You’re being accused of intentionally breaching security, violating copyrights and violating individual privacy by creating the website, WWW.FACEMASH.com. You’re also charged with being in violation of the university’s policy on distribution of digitized images. Before we begin with our questioning, you’re allowed to make a statement. Would you like to do so?

MARK (beat) Uh… I’ve, you know, I’ve apologized in The Crimson to the BHW, to Fuerza Latina and to any women at Harvard who might have been insulted as I take it they were by the things that have been said to me in the last week. As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some sort of recognition from this board.

ADMINISTRATOR (pause) I’m sorry?

MARK Yes.

ADMINISTRATOR I don’t understand.

MARK Which part?

ADMINISTRATOR You believe you deserve recognition?

MARK I pointed out some pretty glaring holes in your system.

COX Excuse me, may I?

ADMINISTRATOR Yes.

COX Mr. Zuckerberg, I’m in charge of security for all computers on the Harvard system. I can assure you of its sophistication and in fact it was that level of sophistication that led us to you in less than four hours.

MARK Four hours?

COX Yes, sir.

MARK That would be impressive except the algorithm I used was written on my dorm room window. Keep up the good work.

CUT TO: INT. CORRIDOR – DAY

As the heavy wooden door from the hearing slams shut behind MARK. EDUARDO is waiting for him.

EDUARADO Well?

MARK Six months academic probation.

They walk out onto – EXT. QUAD – CONTINUOUS

EDUARADO It could have been worse.

MARK No it couldn’t. They made me apologize.

EDUARADO To who?

MARK To them. Over and over.

EDUARADO It’s alright.

MARK No.

EDUARADO It’s okay. You’re fine.

MARK (pause) I shouldn’t have said the thing about the farm animals. That was stupid. Everybody’s mad at me now.

EDUARADO Maybe, but at least everybody knows who you are now.

Pulling off a scene like this is no easy matter. The hardest scenes to write are those where nothing very visual is happening. Static scenes at restaurants, in board rooms, etc. Here we have a conference room with a bunch of people talking. But the scene comes alive because of the protagonist, who insists on being right despite the havoc he creates – and it’s this drive and thwarted ambition that allows him to create Facebook and at the same time alienate and/or destroy all his major relationships along the way.

The screenwriter somehow keeps us interested in Mark even though he’s not a very sympathetic character. Despite his ample flaws, Mark is always fascinating to watch and somehow we can’t help but admire him – even though he does some rather reprehensible things to create Facebook, these very things made Facebook the huge success that it was.

Was Mark right in doing what he did, even though he broke his word, his loyalty and his bonds with those that truly care for him? That’s what makes his film I interesting for me.

What do you guys think? We’ll look at some more of the The Social Network next week.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, everyone. As you know these posts are written so you can absorb information you wouldn’t normally hear in your typical screenwriting classes, screenwriting course or screenwriting workshop. This certainly fits that bill.

We should be studying the best scripts that are out there so what we can learn from them – just as the great painters of the Renaissance studied the masters so they could emulate greatness.

And here we have an example of that — 127 Hours, screenplay by Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy. They are the masters of our generation, so we will study them and see what they are doing and how they are doing it.

Near the end of the film, Aron (the protagonist) comes to visit, Rana, the girl who got away. He has faced his FLBW (Fear, limitation, block or wound) and has realized that he has been running away from commitment, that his pride to exist supremely alone has been a blunder and that he needs other people to truly achieve fulfillment.

So he comes back to see the girl whom he once loved. During this scene, he recalls an hallucination he had in the wilderness, of a young boy. That image helped him to make it out of the canyon. The reference to multi-tools is the device he used to cut off his appendage and free himself from the boulder. Let’s listen in:

INT. RANA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

RANA: My famous Margarita. Coming right up.

Rana is mixing drinks in the kitchen. From the living room, he watches her. She moves beautifully. She comes through with the drinks. Hands him a glass.

RANA: What are we toasting? Multi-tools?

ARON: The future.

RANA: Why not?

They clink glasses.

ARON: So, you and Tom broke up?

RANA: Nearly one year ago. Still friends, but…

EXT. RANA’S APARTMENT – ROOFTOP – LATER

They are sitting opposite each other sipping their Margaritas. The sofa and deck chairs are still there, and so are the snow-capped mountains.

ARON: I’m gonna finish the fourteeners this winter or next.

RANA: Solo?

ARON: Yeah.

RANA: Huh.

ARON: I need to do it.

RANA: Sure.

ARON: Before. I couldn’t let anyone in. I know that.

RANA: Didn’t have to be anyone, Aron. Just me.

ARON: I know.

Silence.

ARON: Rana, there’s something that I haven’t told anyone. When I was in the canyon, before I did it, when I thought I was dead, I was hallucinating and I saw this child, a little boy –

RANA: Not Jesus please…

ARON: He looked like my cousin CJ but way too young… not him. Somebody else. I knew he was mine – my child – and that this was what lay in front of me. My future. Rana, this little boy, he – saved me. Do you see? I thought maybe…

He looks at her. She doesn’t say anything.

ARON: But it’s not going to be you, is it?

She takes his hands in hers, smiles sadly.

RANA: No, Aron, it’s not.

ARON: No.

RANA: Everyone who cares for you, a little bit of them dies each time you go back out there.

Rana leans over and tenderly kisses his cheek.

So, this is not the way we usually expect these scenes to end. He has his revelation but it doesn’t mean he gets the girl. Maybe another girl in the future, but not this one. It’s too late now. He can’t go back. He can only go forward.

See how much is unspoken in this dialogue. This is what we refer to as subtext. All the emotion that is happening in between the lines. We can read so much into this and that’s what great dialogue does. It makes us fill in the missing spaces. There is tremendous emotion in this scene but it’s not blurted out. Regret, sadness, joy, understanding and finally loss – all in this short scene.

Let’s be inspired by this kind of work. And there will be more great examples of wonderful screenwriting in our future. I’m sure you know that.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. I also try to provide information you wouldn’t normally hear in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting class or screenwriting workshop.

So, as promised, here is the end of the monologue from last week. Aron knows he doesn’t have much time left.

His unnaturally cheerful face falls as the energy seeps away. Stares straight into camera. Devastated.

ARON Mom, Dad, I really love you guys. I wanted to take this time to say the times we’ve spent together have been awesome. I haven’t appreciated you in my own heart the way I know I could. Mom, I love you. I wish I’d returned all your calls. Ever.

Sonja, your wedding. Have a good one. Zach’s a good guy. I know I promised I’d play at your wedding. Real sorry about that.

I wish I had learned some lessons more astutely, more rapidly, than I did. I love you guys. I’ll always be with you.

At end of this monologue, Aron speaks straight from his heart. It’s very poignant to say the least. The screenwriter finds a way to bring humor and pathos to the situation when all we have is one man alone, facing his own death.

And here we have what David Freeman talks about as a SLAM. It’s spelled out to us exactly: “I’m something of a big, fucking, hard, hero. I can do it all. On. My. Own. You see? ARON THE HOST Yes, I do see. And is it true that despite, or maybe because you’re a big, fucking, hard hero you neglected to tell anyone where you were going? ARON That is entirely correct.”

Aron prides himself on facing life without the help of anyone. He’s pushed everyone away, even the girl who loved him, so he could be totally independent. He goes on this climb (despite the dangers) never telling anyone where he’s going. And now he’s facing the consequences of his self imposed exile – no one can help him because he’s never let anyone in.

He in fact SLAMS himself in this scene for his pride, his error in thinking that survival is best accomplished by oneself and for isolating himself from the world. This is his FLBW (Fear, Limitation, Block or Wound) and he almost pays for it with his life. This FLBW is what every protagonist must have – Aristotle himself spoke about this as the character’s flaw – his Achilles Heel. It is the thing that the plot forces the protagonist to confront and by confronting it he either overcomes his FLBW (a ‘happy’ ending) or allows it to destroy him (a tragedy).

We’ll look at another scene from this film next week. Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, everyone. As I’ve said previously, the whole point of these posts is to provide information you wouldn’t normally get in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting class or screenwriting workshop. This certainly fits that bill.

It’s time to talk about monologues. In the right hands, they can be an incredibly effective way to get into the head of your protagonist. In the following example, it totally made the film — as the hero of the movie, a mountain climber, gets his arm stuck under a boulder in the middle of the wilderness and only has his video camera to record his thoughts.

“127 Hours” – was made by one of the best directors in the business – Danny Boyle – who did Trainspotting and Slumdog Millionaire. Simon Beaufoy, the screenwriter, also wrote Slumdog and many other great films. It stars James Franco. The screenplay is adapted from a book by the climber who suffered through these events – Aron Ralson. During his ordeal, he has a video camera, so he turns it on himself and does a video log of what’s he’s going through. This section takes place when he’s already trapped, he’s run out of water and food and knows he doesn’t have much time left.

INT. CANYON, SUNRISE. VIDEO MESSAGE THREE. V/O Good morning, America!

There’s a chorus of ‘Good Mornings’ from a thousand American TV radio shows from Texas to Oregon, Massachusetts to the Carolinas.

ARON

Good morning, everyone! It’s seven o’clock in Canyonland, USA. Today, on the boulder, we’ve got a special guest – the self styled American Superhero Aron Ralston. Shout it out, Aron!

Applause from the studio audience. Where the hell did they come from? Flashes of Aron’s photos. Hero poses on top of various snowy peaks, crags, on bikes with huge panoramas stretching away beneath him.

ARON

Thank you! Pleasure to be here!

Suddenly, Aron has adopted the role of chat-show host, switching voices and persona with frightening dexterity.

ARON

Can I say a big hi to Mom and Dad in Englewood, Colorado?

ARON THE HOST

Mom and Dad! Never forget Mom and Dad. Right, Aron?

ARON

Umm. Yeah. Sorry I didn’t pick up the other night, Mom. Would have told you where I was going and – well – wouldn’t be stuck here now, would I?

ARON THE HOST

Well, I always like to say, your supreme selfishness is our gain, Aron. Anyone else you’d like to say hi to?

ARON

Sure. Hi Brion at work! I’m not gonna make it in today, I’m afraid.

A big laugh from the audience.

ARON THE HOST

A question coming in from another Aron, this one in Loser Canyon, Utah. Aron asks: “am I right in thinking that even if Brion at work did notify the police, they’d put a 24 hour hold on it before filing a missing person’s report, which means that you’d only become officially missing midday Wednesday at the earliest?

ARON

Right on the money, Aron. So they’d get about four hours searching before dark, then they’d call it off until Thursday first light – by which time I’ll be dead!

ARON THE HOST

And how do you know all of this, Aron, from Loser Canyon, Utah?

Puts his finger to the invisible ear-piece as if talking to the questioner down the line.

ARON

Oh, well, I know all this ‘cos I’m a volunteer in the rescue service. I’m something of a big, fucking, hard, hero. I can do it all. On. My. Own. You see?

ARON THE HOST

Yes, I do see. And is it true that despite, or maybe because you’re a big, fucking, hard hero you neglected to tell anyone where you were going?

ARON

Yes, that is correct.

This is just part of the monologue, I’ll send the second half next week. But as you can see, this is very powerful stuff. Don’t neglect monologues when they’re organic to your story. Tarantino has made a whole career out of great monologues.

Until then — KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. As you’re now aware, I do everything possible to provide information you wouldn’t normally get in your typical screenwriting class, screenwriting course, or screenwriting workshop. This post certainly fits that bill.

I got a lot of great comments on “Black Swan,” and I hope you’re enjoying this communication as much as I am. So many writers get blocked when it comes to story and that’s because they don’t have a strong character arc for their protagonist. Or they have a character arc but don’t know how to show it in story terms.

The plot comes out of the character, not the other way around. Once you know what the arc of your character is, then you devise the plot to show that evolution of the character. You don’t do it backwards, by figuring out a plot and then trying to fit your protagonist into that story. It has to be organic.

I thought you guys would enjoy the scene where Nina finally does reveal she has the stuff to be the black swan. This is really the end of Act 1, when Nina does something that even surprises herself. Here it is:

INT. BACKSTAGE HALLWAY – DAY

Nina waits anxiously outside Leroy’s office. She hears someone approach, looks up and sees Leroy coming down the hall. She puts on a nervous smile. He doesn’t reciprocate.

LEROY Yes, Nina?

NINA Do you have a minute?

He doesn’t answer, just opens the door to the office and walks in. She takes a breath and then follows.

INT. LEROY’S OFFICE – SAME

Leroy lights a cigarette, quietly studying her and not making this easy. He takes a drag, and exhales.

NINA If now’s not a good time…

LEROY Now’s fine, what is it?

NINA I just wanted to tell you. I practiced the coda last night, and I did it.

LEROY How thrilling for you.

NINA (thrown) Well…

LEROY Okay, Nina, listen, I honestly don’t care about your technique, you should know that by now.

NINA Yes, but-

LEROY Anyway, I’ve already chosen Veronica, so… He lifts his hands in the air, ‘there you go.’

NINA (devastated) I see.

She makes a move towards the door.

LEROY You’re not going to try and change my mind?

She looks back at him, uncertain. Leroy nonchalantly stubs out his cigarette.

LEROY You must have thought it was possible, coming to find me like this.

He pauses, looks her up and down as if trying to decipher her.

LEROY Why are you here? All dolled up?

NINA (unsure) I came to ask you to give me the part.

He comes around his desk and approaches her.

LEROY Truth is, when I look at you, all I see is, the White Swan. Yes, you’re beautiful, fragile, fearful… Ideal casting. But the Black Swan…it’s a hard fucking job to dance both.

NINA I can be the Black Swan too.

LEROY Really? She’s hungry, volatile. In four years, every time you dance, I see you obsess over getting each move exactly right, but I never see you lose yourself.

Insecure, she looks like she wants to run out of the room.

LEROY All that discipline, for what?

NINA I want to be perfect. He laughs.

LEROY Perfection’s not just about control. It’s also about letting go. Very few have it in them.

NINA I –

Without warning, he slowly plants a kiss on her mouth. It lasts for a moment, but he suddenly jerks away.

LEROY Ow! Fuck!

He touches his lip, stunned.

LEROY You bit me. (amused) I can’t believe it. That fucking hurt.

He goes to the mirror to check for damage. He glances back at Nina.

NINA (mumbled) Sorry.

She quickly leaves, shell-shocked.

Nice, isn’t it? Nina does something even she isn’t prepared for. But it reveals she does have the depth and darkness to pull off the role. It also shows whatever is inside her is buried so deep and is so hidden even she doesn’t know it’s there. This must have been revelation for the writer(s) when they found this moment. Everyone should see this film to learn about structure, and of course to see the performance of a lifetime by Natalie Portman.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. It is my mission to provide information you wouldn’t normally hear in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting class or screenwriting workshop. This certainly fits that bill.

Last week we looked at The Wrestler, written by Robert Sielgel and directed by Darren Aronofsky – a beautifully developed character arc. Now let’s look at The Black Swan, also directed by Aronofsky – a character arc that’s not nearly so clear and well structured.

The protagonist, Nina (played by Natalie Portman) is trying to win the starring role for the ballet ‘Black Swan.’ But she can’t seem to find the darkness of the dual role of the black swan. Finally, she gets the job when the director kisses her and she impulsively bites his lip in return. This is Leroy’s first real glimpse into the dark side of Nina. He realizes that she does have hidden resources that have been repressed up to now. So he gives her the part.

This is the beginning of Act 2. Now Nina must find that part of her that is truly seductive, sexual, and powerful that will allow her to portray the black swan. But unfortunately nothing much happens when this turning point occurs. She reacts to things going on around her, she suffers over her inhibitions and tortures herself that she can’t seem to find those hidden reserves. Unfortunately for us as the audience, Nina barely seems to come out of her cocoon.

Eventually Nina goes out with the Lily, another ballerina who is the opposite of Nina, and they party with some guys from a bar; and Nina has sex with Lily (although we discover later this was just her fantasy). By the end of the movie, Nina finally does achieve the transformation we have all been waiting for and it is very powerful, but unfortunately the movie has dragged for far too long until we get this last climactic movement.

As a consequence of the fact that Nina’s journey is not clearly marked and we seem to see the same scenes over and over, the film feels slow. We get early on who Nina is (and she is an extremely well drawn character) but then we want to see the evolution of her character; and it’s here that we’re disappointed and a bit bored. Audiences impatiently wait for that character to undergo a transformation of sorts. If that doesn’t come quickly, screenwriters will lose the audience. That’s what’s at stake in this film.

If it were not for such an amazing performance of Natalie Portman, this film could easily have gone down the drain. She is so riveting and so believable that we are glued to her performance, and she easily saves the film. But how many times will we be able lucky enough to have a Natalie Portman in our movie. The writing has to be stronger than this to keep an audience interested in the story line. Anyway, that is my take on this film. I’d love to hear yours. Next week I’ll share with one of the better scenes from the film.

Until then – KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. As I’ve written many times, the reason for this blog is to provide information you wouldn’t normally receive in your typical screenwriting class, screenwriting course or screenwriting workshop. This certainly fits that bill.

I’d like to continue our discussions by going back to the basics. These following posts will be short and hopefully straight to the point.

Let’s start by: What is a great story really about? Is it about the plot? Not really. A plot is a plot is a plot. And that doesn’t mean we don’t want great plots.

But great stories are about great characters and their journeys. What is that journey? It’s a pilgrimage of sorts. The character starts in one place (trusting) and ends up in a place very different (i.e. betrayed). The more extreme the character arc the better. Why? Because that’s in a nutshell is what you’re really writing about.

And the simpler the character arc the better. Let’s take an example: The Wrestler, written by Robert Siegel, directed by Darren Aronofsky.

The character arc of the protagonist in that film is very clear and his behavior is very active and self determined. The protagonist played by Mickey Rourke realizes he has to give up his sport because of his heart condition. So the film is his journey to find a new life. He makes very clear choices doing this. He gets a new job – a deli man – where he’s mistreated and not given the respect he had previously.

He tries to re-unite with his daughter, who he’s neglected. He tries to find a “normal life” with a woman (Marisa Tomei) he knows at a strip club. Our heart goes out for him as he’s trying to make up for lost time – oftentimes in very clumsy but honest attempts to redeem himself and find meaning outside of the ring.

He ultimately fails and thus the film is a tragedy of sorts. He can’t let go of what he perceives as the glory of his calling – being a Wrestler. He finally dies, but going out in a way that he finds honorable, maybe even noble.

Simple, isn’t it? The character arc should be easy to understand, it should hopefully go from one extreme to another and it should be a difficult emotional journey.

We’ll talk more about the basics in the future.

Until then — KEEP WRITING!

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Hello, screenwriters. As I’ve said in the past, the sole purpose of these posts is to provide information you wouldn’t normally hear in your typical screenwriting course, screenwriting class or screenwriting workshop. This certainly fits that bill.

Whether your dream is to become a tennis player on the pro circuit or a professional screenwriter, you need help and guidance.

Professional athletes, whether they’re runners, wrestlers or ping pong players all have coaches. The reason for this is simple. None of us can see ourselves objectively, spot our own weaknesses or have enough vision to understand what we need to work on most or how to reach the next level of success.

So those coaches, whether training high school football players or Olympic athletes are there to push their charges forward towards the next level of excellence.

When he was injured, Peyton Manning, as good as he is, went back to his college coach to help him find his game again.

Whether we want to be concert pianists or professional singers, artists like screenwriters are no different than world class athletes. We need that objective eye, we need to learn from the masters the tricks of the trade. No one does it alone.

My mentor used to be Wes Craven, now sadly no longer with us. I now emulate who I think is one of the very best screenwriters going – Tony Gilroy.

That’s why I’m hosting a webinar to help others learn from this master storyteller, the writer of the Bourne movies, Michael Clayton and many others.

Join me on Wednesday April 27 at 1:00 pm or watch this webinar anytime at your convenience as it’s archived for a year. You won’t be disappointed. https://www.writersstore.com/the-first-10-pages-learning-from-master-storyteller-tony-gilroy/

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